Time for a Change… And a BatFit Accomplishment!

Yes, I’ve been an extremely quiet blogger lately. Sophistique Noir has been in a state of near silence for most of April for both posting and commenting. I even failed to announce that there would be no Monthly Theme for May… But I promise it is all for a very good reason.

For the past couple of months, I’ve been looking for a new job. It’s been an exciting and challenging process after 11 years in my current position. Late in March I stumbled upon a job listing that sounded absolutely perfect for me, so I sent in my resume. A month later, I’ve been through three intense interviews with a total of eight interview panel members. I completed a major project that I spent 30 hours on one weekend in order to give them a presentation showing what I can do. I even had to go for a physical as a condition for employment. Yesterday, I completed the whole process and was formally offered the job.

This accomplishment was my number one goal for BatFit 2012. When she began her 40×40 journey, Le Professeur Gothique had stressed that fitness is about both physical AND mental wellness, a concept that I totally agree with. Due to a toxic person at my work, my problem was definitely in the mental area. I never wanted to mention too much about it on my blog (you never know who is reading…) but someone did something very unethical to me last December and it plunged me into a pretty major depression, something that is very unlike me. For months, my stomach churned with nausea whenever I thought about going to work. I had no energy and I binged on chocolate. I laid awake nights, I had horrible dreams when I did sleep, I cried on my way to work and on my way home for weeks on end. I knew there would be no solution but to walk away from that job and get that person out of my life forever.

I’m someone who doesn’t really like major change, so it took me a couple of months to even get up the courage to start looking at job openings. Then, despite finding a wealth of awesome jobs out there in my industry that I was perfectly qualified for, I found fault with every single one. Until I came across one that I just couldn’t deny was perfect for me. Just at that time, Le Professeur announced the BatFit challenge of “Facing Your Fears.” I was in the midst of doing just that, and my hard work paid off tremendously!

I’m truly looking forward to this new opportunity in my career, and the new chapter it opens for this blog. I will be taking you along with me in my process of adapting to a new environment and slowly letting my personality come out after I win my new colleagues over with my work performance and professionalism.

Now’s the time to practice what I preached in my post about Dressing Goth at Work. It’s time to come into a new position with a fairly conservative appearance that just hints at my quirky sense of style (I won’t even be showing a single tattoo until I see whether there are others in the office with them). Over the coming months, if it is appropriate to do so, I will ease into being more “myself” in my style and appearance, as long as everything I do falls within the organization’s dress code and the comfort zone of my supervisors. It’s going to be an adventure, after more than a decade of being totally comfortable (to the point of complacency) in my old office.

I feel alive again, and I’m so thankful to be headed in this new direction. And I’m thankful to my sweet readers who were concerned by my virtual absence over the past few weeks! Sorry for the long, photo-free journal entry here, and extra-special thanks to those who are still reading at this point. πŸ˜‰

Stay tuned later this week for posts of my three interview outfits, along with my rationale for dressing how I do for those most important first impressions.

All images and text Β© Sophistique Noir Gothic Fashion Blog. Do not use any photos or text from this blog without providing a credit to me and a link back to the original post.


  1. I feel so happy for you! I know how dissapinting is to deal with negative people and it is something I try to avoid myself, so you have all my sympathy about this. I wish you the best, darling. I am sure your life will improve as a consequence of your brave decission.

  2. Congrats on the new job! I'm sorry that such severe issues drove you to it, but new challenges are usually worthwhile in the end.

  3. Congratulations, and good luck with the new job!I left a long-standing job for the same reason. Since I can't hide my hair, I had all sorts of trouble finding another job in the corporate world – it took me 9 months of intense stress (still working at the old place) before I found the perfect corporate job for me, with an employer that understands my individuality.I guess life works out the way it's meant to! πŸ˜‰

  4. Well, first of all, congratulations! It's great news, I'm happy for you! ^^I also dislike major changes, in fact, I'm afraid of them, but they are always exciting. I'm sure, this change will be relieving for you and I'm looking forward to your blogposts already!

  5. AW a BIG HUG for you! It's funny, I was just thinking today about you and wondering if I'd missed a blog post b/c I hadn't heard anything from you in a while. Huzzah on your new job. SOOOOO awesome! Job stress sucks so I'm glad you're outta there! I worked in a similar situation for over five years with a very toxic person and my stomach would just churn on Sunday nights because I knew I'd have to face her the following morning. ugh, makes me sick just thinking about it. I'm looking forward to seeing your posts on working your style into your new job. πŸ™‚

  6. I'm so happy for you! I wish you the best of luck at your new job!

  7. I had wondered where you had gone, and if you had switched jobs yet. Good on ya!

  8. Congratulations and best of luck with your new job! Am I remembering correctly that you work in graphic design?I look forward to your posts about work clothes through this transition.Very happy for you!

  9. I'm pleased that you're growing and changing and getting to a better place. One should never dread going to work. I'm sorry you were made to indure such hardships. I hope your new position allows you to bloom into the beautiful gothy flower you want to be! I can't want to see your outfits!

  10. Congratulations on the new job, that's fantastic! I know what it's like to have a person make you feel physically ill, it's horrible. It's good that it has lead you to a new opportunity though, all the best! x

  11. Sweet! I'm so glad to hear you're moving in a new, happy direction. Hooray for your courage!At my last employer, a PR firm, project managers were expected to wear suit and tie when meeting clients. But web designers were actually encouraged to dress less conservatively because clients responded better to designers who looked creative. I wonder if you'll encounter anything similar.

  12. Congratulations on the new job, and of getting out of such a nasty situation. I'll be looking forward to seeing you on your new course!And thank you so much for this blog. Regardless of how frequently or infrequently you post, it is an inspiration to me. Cheers again!~StitchlingBelle

  13. pensive pumpkin

    Love. This. Post.As a person who does this sort of "dumbing down" of my personal style on a regular basis, I understand the sacrifice and what all it entails. Kudos.Looking forward to more, and CONGRATS!

  14. I'm so sorry you had to deal with a toxic individual at work and that it affected every aspect of your life. I'm happy that you took a bad situation and changed things for the better. Congrats on the new job and the adventure. It's funny how that "facing your fears" challenge popped up at just the right moment. I love that!I'm looking forward to seeing your interview posts and work outfits.

  15. oh my. Hugs. I remember you hinting about having to make a big change a few months back, so congratulations at having done so. It's so good to face fears and take a risk–I always find there are *always* rewards in taking a chance, even though it may take a while until those rewards can be felt. I'm so sorry about the awful, unethical person at work–the only thing to do is to get away from toxic people. I hope your new job is as perfect as you believe it to be, and I hope you find everyone there to be lovely and more nourishing for you. And don't feel too bad about the absent blogging–I know just how you feel about that! It's so hard to find that extra energy and time when you have so many other things to focus on! hugs! X

  16. Congratulations on your new job! I'm glad to hear you've found a solution to such a nasty situation. Work is such a big part of one's life that it should never be something to be afraid of. And I understand what you mean about not liking major change, I guess I'm somehow similar as well although I try to make myself believe I'm always open to new challenges… Uh-oh, that's not quite true. I should gather up the courage to look for a new job too, but I lack the self-confidence and such. On the other hand my situation is not like yours, I enjoy the working environment, it's just that it's occasionally very boring with nothing to do (=I'm writing this at work because I really don't have anything to do) and the salary's very poor.I'm looking forward to seeing your corporate looks! Good luck with the new course in your life!

  17. Congratulations and good luck with the new job! πŸ™‚ I admire your courage to find a new job after having worked so long at the same place. It's terrible that there are persons that can make one feel so bad and depressed!Have a lovely day! :)/MadamNoire

  18. Long time lurker just saying I really hope everything goes well for you.I'm about to graduate university and step in to the world of work so I'm really excited for some tips on fitting in in an office setting πŸ™‚

  19. I am very happy for you. I am going through something similar with a work situation, so I know how HORRIBLE and trapped on can feel. It is good to see that you are able to improve things. It is an inspiration to me.

  20. Congratulations to your new job!! πŸ™‚ Im so glad that you made something about it. I know how bad it can be for the self confidence to have to deal with a toxic person at work, specially if it is a supervisor. I guess that you have thought a great deal on this. If you can't avoid a person like that, it's the best desicion to move on. I'm also glad that you didn't take the first best job available because that can get even worse (my own experience) and you have a career to think about. I'm so looking forward to see your professional outfits for your new work and how the progress will be for you to be the one you are. I'm hiding my shaved side today ;). I have had real hard times at my job and have a lots of argues with my boss. But since he was forced to leave a lot of responsibility in my hand, and let me do the job in my way and succed with it, he's a different person to me now. That is a big relief for me.Lots of good luck to you! Hugs!

  21. Le Professeur Gothique

    YAY! I am so utterly thrilled that you are now out of that horrible environment! HUZZAH for Ms. Kitty! GAWDS, I want to buy you a drink and some dinner in celebration! WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!! You deserve all the good stuff, my darling friend! Go baby, GO!

  22. I'm so happy to hear you've got a new job! That is awesome! You'll meet new people, try new things and I can understand how you'd feel reinvigorated! I'm positive that the company that hired you is LUCKY to have you as a new employee! I just hope they live up to your expectations! Best Wishes on you new endeavor! Thanks for sharing with us – your blog is close to my heart!

  23. OMG, so many kind words to wake up to this morning! These comments really warmed my heart.pensive pumpkin, thank you! It's hard to be a non-conformist at work, as it always requires sacrifices that leave us feeling at odds with who we "really" are. It takes some getting used to!Violette, thanks for your kind words! I don't understand why people can't just remain professional at work, but I guess some people just sink to a point where they are so self-absorbed don't care who they hurt. It's very unfortunate, but sometimes all we can do is move on to a happier life and leave those people behind.Trystan, thank you! I agree; I'm sure this move will be a great step forward, even if there were no issues at my current job.Michelle, you make a great point. Some things are easy to hide; others are more permanent changes (like tattoos – I had to buy long-sleeved blazers for the interviews because most of mine were short-sleeved). I'm SO happy to hear that you found the perfect job match! I sincerely hope we both find a more functional environment waiting for us in our new positions. :)Lynoire, I think just starting the process is the hardest part of change. Now that I've got the job and it has all become reality, I feel very comfortable and confident about it. There is not a doubt in my mind that I made the right decision. It's SO LIBERATING!!! :-DLady Bethezda, HUGS for thinking of me!! I know exactly the feeling you are describing. I'm so glad that you were able to get out of that situation, too. It's very sad to read that so many people have had to deal with this kind of unprofessional attitude at work, but at the same time it's comforting in a way to know it's not just me! ;)lil' bit, thanks!! I'm deliriously happy right now. :-DTante, yes! Thank you!! :)RubyAlison, yes, I am a graphic designer (mainly Web sites). Thank you for your kind words!AngelShinigami, you are too sweet! I hope there will be some flexibility in what I can get away with once I'm settled in. It's a business casual environment (much like my current one) so that's good… We'll just have to wait and see how conservative the mindset it. Either way, I'll do my best to work with whatever I've got! πŸ™‚

  24. Skarlett, I'm so sad to hear that you are enduring a similar situation. I hope my story inspires you to start opening your mind up to seeking a change. It's SO hard to get comfortable with the idea of making such a huge change, but once you commit to it is becomes very easy! It all just starts to feel natural when you are doing what is best for you. Hang in there, and feel free to e-mail me if you ever need to "talk" to someone who understands a situation like that.Le Professeur, come on out to LA and I will take you up on that dinner! ;-D We still have a shopping trip to do, too. *hugs*Phoenix, thank you! I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced what I am talking about. I guess everyone has; there are too many negative people out there spreading it around. πŸ™ Sometimes it can be hard to purge those people from your life.Bane, I've had similar experiences in most of my jobs. When I first started at my current (soon to be EX) job, people frequently commented that since I was a designer of course I would dress more "artsy." I expect it might be much the same in the new place, but I don't want to assume… Either way, as long as the people are good to me, I don't mind making compromises in what I wear. But it would be more fun if I have more freedom. ;)StitchlingBelle, thank you so much! I really appreciate your words about my blog. Comments like that inspire me to keep it going!!jeanofalltrades, it was all just meant to be. πŸ™‚ I think this new job will be a big step up for me even if I wasn't in an uncomfortable situation at my old job. Maybe that bad thing happened because I needed motivation to move on. Maybe I should thank the person who slandered me? ;-D Naw, on second thought I think NOT suing her was thanks enough. πŸ™‚

  25. Hexotica, yes indeed, I have been contemplating various courses of action since this first happened… Getting another job doing the same exact thing I'm doing now actually wasn't at the top of my list initially, but all signs along the way have pointed to this being the best possible move (other than winning the lottery. Mr. Kitty is working on that!). Your Sage posts were another amazingly timely source of inspiration to me! I thank you very much for those posts.Raphael, you make an excellent point: work takes up nearly 1/2 of our waking hours throughout the week. It's too much to endure if you are treated poorly. I would have ended a romantic relationship in a heartbeat if my partner did what my boss did. I can imagine that not having enough work to do would make your work days drag by so slowly!! It's good that you can pass the time doing your own thing, but then that doesn't give you the same sense of accomplishment. When the time is right for you to move on, I hope all signs will point you in the right direction!MadamNoire, thank you! It was a challenge to wrap my mind around the whole idea, but once the process was in motion it just felt SO right.Maya, thank you for taking the time to comment! Congratulations on getting your degree, and best of luck on your upcoming job hunt! Starting out at a new job is definitely very different for a Goth than once you've been settled into a place for a long time. It's SO important to "play the game" and follow the rules to the letter, so that your new co-workers and supervisors can see the quality of your work and your work ethic. Win their trust, and THEN you can usually start expressing yourself more. :)linnea-maria, you are so right about not just taking the first job that comes along. That was my original plan once I decided to find a new job, and I'm glad I didn't do it! It would have been less than half my current pay and sounded like it would have been long hours. It was hard to say no to a possible escape, not knowing when the next offer would come along. I'm so glad I made that choice and waited for the right opportunity! LOL about hiding your shaved side. It's good to be adaptable. πŸ˜‰ It really does give you more value in the workplace. But it sounds like you are also good at standing up for yourself, and doing a good job can definitely help you earn more freedom in how you dress! That's a good reminder for us all.GothBarbie, I think they are lucky, too. And I'm lucky, which makes it a perfect match. πŸ˜‰ You made my day with your comment. πŸ™‚ It brings me great joy to know that bloggers I admire enjoy my blog too!

  26. Seems I'm late for the party, but well *puts tea and cookies on the table*. It's nice to hear that you're feeling better. Congratulations for you new job. I graduate in September (if everything goes well) and hope I can stay at the company I'm at. Unlike work studying felt so useless and drained my energy.So I can feel with you at least for the sense of accomplishment part. You impressed your new company at a quite down time in life enough to hire you, you can only rock your new job πŸ˜‰ Lots of luck, butterflys, unicorns, kittens…

  27. I commiserate with your position. I am so sorry that you had to put up with such toxicity at work, but am so happy that it is all now in the past and an exciting new change is taking place! Congratulations!

  28. Congratulations on finding and getting that job! I've never been put through a whole three rounds of interviews, and find two nerve-wracking enough! If you're too busy with life to post much, we're OK with that – your happiness and your offline life come first πŸ™‚ I think you're going to rock in your new job πŸ™‚ I start a new day job tomorrow, working at a primary school. I do art and illustration professionally, but it's too unreliable an income for me, so I work a day job to make sure that I can still pay the rent & utilities if none of my paintings sell one month, but I've been unemployed for a couple months after the shop I worked for closed and I consequently got made redundant. I'm going to have to look very normal, especially as I'm working with children and I don't want parents thinking I'm "unsuitable" because of assumptions they might have about what members of the Goth community get up to (I don't sacrifice animals or work as a dominatrix *eye roll*). I can blend in quite well because my funky hair is actually a wig I wear on a daily basis and my real hair is reasonably mainstream (bob cut, very dark aubergine, a colour I'm seeing on a lot of non-subcultural people) and (sadly) my more unusual piercings have closed up anyway. I don't have tattoos on my arms or collar area, so I don't have that problem with blouses and jackets. I'll only be working at the school part time, though, so I have plenty of my own time to wonder around in corsets and heavy make-up.

  29. Ria, studying to earn your degree is a great road to accomplishment, but being a valued part of the work force really does give you a whole new sense of accomplishment. And that degree will help you get there! Thank you for your kind words. You make an excellent point – if I could impress them while I was under such stress, I'll really do great when I leave the stress behind! :)Unlacing, I'm sad to hear that you can commiserate – I never want anyone to feel the workplace stress that I've been experiencing!! Just never let yourself feel trapped. If you think it might be time to move on, it never hurts to start looking and eventually something better will come along!HouseCat, best of luck at your new job! Sounds like you will have the perfect blend of reliable income and artistic freedom. A wig is a great solution for the normal hair woes. πŸ™‚ It can feel lame to have to dress so normal for so many hours each week, but you are absolutely right – they can't control what you wear on the dance floor, so go all out whenever you have the chance!

  30. It's like reading about my middle school experience all over again. I can totally sympathize with you on this, and I'm glad things are improving πŸ™‚

  31. Congratulations on your new job! I have had a few jobs that I dreaded going into that much and it is perhaps one the the most slowly-crushing experiences. I am so happy you were able to get out of there and land in a new position!

  32. Congratulations on your new job! I hope you enjoy it! Xxxx πŸ™‚

  33. Congratulations on finding the perfect new job and thank you for being a good example! As someone soon to be facing extreme major changes in my life within a couple short months I really feel encouraged when I read about how things have worked out for you. (And btw you should totally start your own company someday so I can come work for you!! I think having you as a design mentor would be awesome!) I hope that as the summer progresses more will fall into place just right for us both, and for anyone else going through life changes and obstacles right now! Best wishes!

  34. Congrats! It is oh so important to be happy at your workplace. It's a major part of one's life.

  35. Congrats on the new job. Life is not a vacuum where we can compartmentalize personal and professional life, so I can understand how issues at work can affect you over all, especially if you take pride in your career. I am glad you got the courage and strength to leave after 11 years, which is not easy. While no job or situation is without ups and downs, I hope that this job is a better fit for you. I am sure that you will do great as with each struggle such as that in your old job, we become stronger. I also look forward to seeing you incorporate your quirky goth side into a professional wardrobe. I also am in an uber corporate/formal field (I am a paralegal), so you may give me some inspirations. I usually enjoy all your outfits as they remain both classy and goth.

  36. YAY! I know I am late to the update, but I have had those experiences and this move is such a good thing!!! I tried to just "grin and bare it" at one job, and I was the one who ended up being asked to leave. Taking control is amazing.You are so very inspiring and congratulations on the new job!!! I hope it is a much needed mental break from horrid people AND the work is what you desire!!~Morgaine Fey~

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